Almost

First off, I'd like to start with a quote...

"You take so long to get there but it doesn't mean you're a failure."

Lately, I've been thinking about a lot of things. Those things have many factors that I don't think I should really be thinking over through. But it's been giving me the disturbing thoughts that I should've done this, I should've let that go or I should've just give that up. Those kind of things. It's confusing. Life is confusing. And we all know it's unfair. But how can we blame something that isn't even there? To experience life, you have to accept the prons and cons of having it. I mean, without life, where are we going to be? Right?

I made a playlist. The songs in this playlist are inspirational enough to help me think positively in life. I've gone through some situations that I never thought I'll be able to get out of. So I'm sharing this.

(not in particular order)

Mean by Taylor Swift

The Outside by Taylor Swift

A Place In This World by Taylor Swift

One hand on the wheel by Elizabeth Huett

Sun Out of the Rain by Elizabeth Huett

So there's the first five inspirational song.

There are times I think that I'm a failure at life. After graduating college, I wanted my first job to be the job that I'll ever have. That it's where I'm going to retire and the people I work with will be my friends for so long. Now, I don't know what to do anymore. I'm having a life crisis, if I can put it that way. Whenever I decide on something, I always look on the prons on cons of it. I don't just decide because whatever decision I come up will define the next steps that I have to do.

I think I've mapped out my future far too early.

When I was in high school, I started thinking of my future. What will it be, where will be, who will I be. I like planning and organizing but sometimes I over-plan and over-organize that it end up a disaster. Who even wants their plans to fail, right? From one of the seminars I attended when I was in college, according to Chinkee Tan,

"When you're plan fails, you plan to fail."

 Do you get the logic of that quote? It's so easy to understand that you will just don't like it on the first thought. You plan because you want to achieve something successful, not because you want to experience failure. But it's life. Remember, there are always two side of it. Either you succeed or you failed at something. I don't want to have it on everything. Everything is such a very broad term to connect with success and failure.

When you succeed on something, they congratulate you. When you fail, they say better luck next time. It's not the end of everything when you experience those two terms in your life.

Here's another five of the songs on my playlist. Again, not in particular order.

Warrior by Demi Lovato

Shake It Off by Taylor Swift

Live It Up by Owl City

Who You Are by Jessie J

Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson

And now that I know where my life should be, I feel like I planned too early I don't know where to go anymore. I'm confused. I'm undecided. I feel like I'm lost in my own maze. Where is the path I should walk on? Can I talk a break for a split second so I can think again?

Is it okay to slow down? It's okay, right? Because that's what I want to do right now. I need a moment. I need to slow things down. I need a break and think of myself. I need to think of the present. I have a bright future ahead of me. I know that.

So here's another five songs, not in particular order.

One Step at a Time by Jordin Sparks

The Climb by Miley Cyrus

This is Me by Demi Lovato

What Dreams are Made Of by Hilary Duff

The Tide Is High by Atomic Kitten

I'm not failure. That I can tell myself. How can I be a failure? I have a job. I have a happy family. I have my friends whom I see once a month to go out of town. I'm achieving one of my dreams. I'm happy and free. How can I be a failure? There might be this huge question mark on top of my head of where should I be but, that doesn't define how a failure I am. Like I said on the first quote, I'm just slow but it doesn't mean I'm a failure. I'll have my time. Maybe not today or tomorrow. But someday. That's close enough than not to expect anything at all.

I live life as it is. If it gives me an apple, then I'll make an apple juice. If it throws rock at me then I'd build a castle. If it gives me storm, then I'd dance in it. Who says life is tough? It'll only be tough if you think it's tough. It'll only give you rough times if you don't get out there and take the challenge. Every single day offers different experiences that we can filter in our life. Put it in a basket, segregate what's important and what's not. That's life. Let it define you or have the control over it. It's your choice.

When someone says, I don't have a choice, that's b*shit. Everyone has a choice. They just decided to ignore the other option and go on with what's easy. Not everything you have to choose is the easiest one. Sometimes the hardest one is really the easiest.

So I can tell I'm almost there. Whatever path I choose after this day, I know it will direct me to road where I should really be. I have a choice and I'm making it.

I'm closing this with a quote as well...

"Do not pressure yourself to be there just because the others got there early. Everyone has their own time. Chill and relax. You'll get there. Just believe."